Title: "Leyla and the Two Bullets"
Dates: January 24, 2003
Distribution: Please ask. Thank you.
Category: Follmer-fic, DRF, FRR implied, DSR implied. character death, humor, AU
Spoilers: “Travelers” & “Release” mention
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. All X-Files
characters belong to Chris Carter, Ten- Thirteen Productions
20th Century FOX Broadcasting.
Summary: A.D. Brad Follmer gets annoyed with a new agent.
INT. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR BRAD FOLLMER’S OFFICE – DAY
Assistant Director Brad Follmer had to get up early
that day to get ready to show a new agent around the
He hadn’t heard much about her and thought he’d
dig into her resume. He did, and couldn’t find
too big about her. He wondered why he was in
charge of this new agent. He took care of child
etc. He didn’t know, but maybe
the director had reasons. Anyway, he shrugged his
shoulders. It’s probably
just a plot convenience.
Then came a quiet knock on the door.
“Come in.” Follmer said.
He wondered why his secretary didn’t buzz him and let
him know someone wanted to see him. Then again, his
was hardly ever at her desk.
The office door creaked open and in walked the new
agent. Her bleach blond hair was in the same style as
Dana Scully’s. Follmer took notice. He also
noticed that she dressed like her.
“You must be Agent Harrison?” Follmer asked.
“Yes, I am.” Agent Harrison said.
“Ok, have a seat please.” Follmer said, gesturing to
one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Agent Harrison sat down.
“I was looking over your resume-“ Follmer said,
suddenly being cut off by Agent Harrison.
“-Will I be working with Agents Mulder or Scully?”
“Excuse me?” Follmer asked, wondering where she was
getting this from.
“You know,” Harrison said, thinking he’s dumb or
something. “Agents Mulder and Scully?”
“No, you won’t.” Follmer said. “Anyway, I was looking
She interrupts him again. Brad lets out an irritated
“You know I’d love to work with Agents Mulder and
Scully.” Harrison said, trying to sound innocent
through her annoying voice.
“You can’t.” Follmer said. “Besides, agent Mulder has
been abducted from aliens and is busy
from shadowy government agents, and Agent Scully is
teaching at Quantico.”
“Get her transferred.” Harrison said. “You are an
Assistant Director, you can do that.”
She has an intense demand in her voice. Follmer looks
at her questioning.
“May I ask you something?” He asks, leaning forward
just a bit. “Why are you obsessed with Agents
“I’m not obsessed.” Harrison says, complete
seriousness in her voice.
“Then explain to me why you come in here when we are
suppose to be talking about your new job, and all you
can talk about is agents Mulder and Scully.” Follmer
“I don’t think I’m following.” Harrison says. “I
admire agents Mulder and Scully. They
“Actually,” Follmer says. “The x-files were
originally founded about fifty years ago. They were
filed under the letter ‘U’ for ‘unsolved’. The
director is the one that declares a case unsolvable.
An agent Dales was the original agent to re-open
investigation into these unsolved cases.”
“That’s not true.” Harrison says. “If it were, the x-
files would be called the ‘u-files’.”
Brad rolls his eyes.
“They ran out of room in the ‘U’ section and had to
move them to ‘X’.” Follmer
states. “Don’t you know
Harrison looks pissed. She can’t be wrong. She knows
that Agents Mulder and Scully were the one’s who
founded the x-files. No one else.
“And if you also recall,” Follmer continues. “Agent
Mulder re-opened the x-files again in 1990
“Not that name again!” Harrison shouts.
She doesn’t look sane right now. Follmer backs away.
“You can’t be right! I’m right!” She yells at him.
“Agent Harrison, control your self.” Follmer calmly
says. He can’t believe a new agent is acting
“Agent Mulder founded the x-files with Agent Scully.
That’s how it has to be!” Harrison gets up
to pace the room. “They founded the x-files together
because they are in love.”
Follmer gives her a questioning look. Now, is he
questioning her words, or her sanity? Hmmm… probably
Harrison suddenly stops pacing the room and stops
right in front of Brad’s desk. She looks intense, in
“You have to assign me to the x-files.” She commands.
“I have to make sure Agent Scully and Doggett
get together. I have to make sure Agents Doggett and
Reyes get together so there is no threat for Mulder
Considering what she’s saying, she sounds very
serious… in a frightening kind of way. Follmer looks
her calmly… how do deal with a psycho…
“Agent Harrison,” Brad starts. “Please, have a seat.”
He gestures again to a seat in front of his desk.
“Cut the crap!” Harrison shouts.
“Can we?” he smirks. “There’s a lot of crap to cut
She sits down.
“You will take me to the x-files now, or I’ll kill
you.” Harrison demands, and suddenly pulls out
Brad looks at her, the calm staying on his face. How
in the world did she already get her gun?!
“And what is it exactly that you hope to do once you
are down in the basement?” Follmer asks calmly.
“I can’t tell you!” Harrison yells. “Now get up or
I’ll kill you!”
She aims her gun at him, fires it, but just misses
his head. A warning shot.
Off Brad Follmer’s look…
INT. DOGGETT & REYES’ X-FILES OFFICE
“Monica, that’s a load of B.S. Who in their right
mind would believe that kind of hocus pocus?”
Monica Reyes looks at him, a little bit hurt by his
“I do.” She says.
“Yeah well…” Doggett says, not sure what to say.
“Yeah well what, John?” Monica asks.
“Yeah well…” Doggett says, trying to think. Couldn’t
he have said something a little more
witty than ‘yeah
well…’? “I think it’s mumbo jumbo.”
“Mumbo jumbo?” Monica says. “John, has it ever
occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, it hurts
feelings when you call my theories ‘B.S’, ‘mumbo
jumbo’, ‘hocus pocus’…
the list goes on. I never put
down your theories.”
“That’s because my theories are normal.” John says.
Monica rolls her eyes.
“You’re just afraid to open your mind to extreme
possibilities.” Monica states.
Doggett looks over at her.
“Yeah I do.” He says.
“No you don’t, John.” Monica says.
“Yes I do.” John says.
“Why are you two fighting?” Comes the annoying voice
of Agent Leyla Harrison, as she enters their office
with her gun to Brad Follmer’s head.
John and Monica look over at her. They immediately
stand up, drawing their guns and aiming at her.
“Who are you, and why do you have Mr. Follmer as your
hostage?” Agent Doggett asks.
“I’m Agent Harrison.” Leyla says.
“Drop the gun.” Monica demands.
“Listen to me. You guys are in love.” Harrison says.
Doggett and Reyes cringe at the thought.
“Whoa, what?” Says agent Doggett.
“You and Agent Reyes are in love.” Leyla repeats.
“But I love Brad.” Monica says.
“NO! You can’t!” Harrison shouts at Monica. “You love
Agent Doggett! And besides Follmer
“What?” says Follmer.
“That’s why you can’t love him!” Harrison shouts.
“Nicholas Regali killed my son.” Doggett says.
“No he didn’t!” Harrison says, getting frustrated
that no one believes her. “Follmer did!”
“What the hell is she talking about?” asks Follmer.
“I don’t know.” Monica says.
“You know Mon’, I change my mind.” Doggett says.
“You’re theories are normal compared
to this B.S.”
“Told you.” Monica simply says.
“Can you please give me a gun?” Brad asks. “She threw
mine out the window.”
Monica watches Leyla as she approaches Brad.
“What are you doing, Agent Reyes?” Leyla asks with an
insane, intense, innocence in her tone.
“Nothing…” Monica says carefully as she hands her gun
Leyla’s eyes go wide with insanity!
“NO-OOOOO!” Harrison screams.
She takes her gun off Brad’s head and aims it at
Monica. Leyla shoots at her.
Then suddenly, Leyla makes no noise. Monica stands in
place a bit stunned. Blood oozes out of Agent Leyla
head… she has been shot. She falls to the
“Nice shootin’!” Doggett says to Follmer with a smile
on his face.
“Thank you, Agent Doggett.” Follmer says.
Brad goes up to Monica.
“You ok?” He asks her, checking her over just to be
“Yeah… she just missed me.” Monica says.
They all turn around and look at the wall behind
Monica. It has bullet holes in it.
“What the hell was her problem?” Monica asks.
“I don’t know.” Brad says. “She seemed obsessed with
the idea of agents Mulder and Scully
in a romantic
“So why did she bring you down here?” Doggett asks.
“I think so she could makes sure you and Agent Scully
don’t get in a romantic relationship.” Brad
“Well, she’s a little late.” Doggett says with a
smile on his face.
Suddenly, agent Harrison stirs on the ground. She’s
“NO! You can’t love her! You love Agent Reyes! And
Mulder and Scully love each other!!” Agent Harrison
shouts at the top of her lungs.
Brad Follmer gives her an annoyed look… why the hell
won’t she die!
He lifts his gun up towards her head and shoots her
again. This time it kills her. She falls to the
and this time, that is where she will
rest… that is until someone moves her body to the
Off the thankful looks of Assistant Director Brad
Follmer, Agent Monica Reyes, and Agent John Doggett,