Title: “Leyla & The Highway Drama”
Author: Kristi
Feedback: If you really think it deserves it 
(kristi@caffeine-sleep.com)
Archive: Addicted To Doggett, my sites! Anyone 
else, please ask.
Rating: PG
Website: http://teso-x.caffeine-sleep.com/
Spoilers: None.
Category: humor
Summary: While traveling down a dark highway in 
the middle of the night, Mulder and Krycek run 
into Agent Leyla Harrison.
Disclaimer: I do not own Mulder, Krycek, or Leyla 
Harrison. They belong to Chris Carter, Ten-
Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX
Broadcasting.
Date: May 10, 2003
Author’s Note: I'd like to dedicated this fan fic 
to my good friend and bestest buddy Jennifer Lynn 
(who hates when I call her that), for without
her tale of her road trip to New Jersey, this 
story never would've come about. So Jenny, thank 
you. This story is in the style of how I see 
Mulder and Krycek in the online virtual series 
that I run, “Fox & Rat” (http://frvs.polish-
sausage.com/)

FADE IN:

INT. MULDER’S RENTAL CAR – 3:18 A.M.

Mulder and Krycek are driving down a dark 
highway.

“You know Alex, this was such a smart idea!” 
Mulder exclaimed with a lot of excitement. 
“Taking our road trip in the middle of the night 
to beat the traffic.”

“I know.” Krycek said, very proud of how smart he 
is for thinking this whole idea. “How else do you 
think I can get around so fast?”

“Oh… I get it now.” Mulder says.

They continue driving when suddenly, from what 
seems out of nowhere, a large semi-truck tire 
hits their car, causing them to fly in the air. 
They come crashing down with a loud thud. The car 
continues to roll onto it’s side, and then 
stopping it’s roll once it’s up-side down.

“Well, this is just fitting Mulder.” Krycek says 
very unhappy.

He looks over at Mulder and glares.

“It’s not my fault. I think aliens put the tire 
there. It came out of nowhere.” Mulder says.

“Blood is draining to my head you punk.” Krycek 
says in an accusing tone.

“Don’t call me punk!” Mulder shouts.

“PUNK!” Krycek yells back.

“Stop it!”

“PUNK!”

“I mean it! Stop calling me punk!” Mulder yells.

“PUNK! PUNK! PUNK!” Krycek yells.

“Hello?” Comes a female voice from outside the 
car.

Mulder and Krycek stop their “conversation”.

“We’re in here!” Mulder yells. “See, help has 
come, we won’t die.”

“I didn’t think we would die.” Krycek looks over 
at him. “Punk.”

Mulder gives him an irritated look.

Looking into the up-side down car is Agent Leyla 
Harrison. Mulder and Krycek look over to her.

“Oh no, not you.” Mulder says with a sneer.

“Oh my goodness, Agent Mulder!” Leyla exclaims.

She makes her way over to Mulder’s side of the 
car. With all her strength and will power, she 
pulls him out of the car and gives him a long, 
tight hug.

“Get away from me!” Mulder says.

Leyla doesn’t listen.

“Oh Agent Mulder! I’m so glad you are all right.” 
Leyla says. “Now you can get back to Agent 
Scully.”

“You’re a freak. Let me go!” Mulder yells.

“A little help would be useful!” Krycek yells 
from the car.

“That rat bastard should stay in there and die!” 
Leyla says. “He’s so mean!”

“Hey…” Krycek says from the car.

“No. He’s my buddy!” Mulder says.

He makes his way over to Krycek’s side of the 
car, putting up a fight to get free of Leyla’s 
grasp.

“Krycek buddy ‘ol pal?” Mulder says.

“What?” Krycek says, not happy that he’s still in 
the car.

“I’m gonna get you out, ok?”

“Stop talkin’ about it and do it you punk!” 
Krycek yells.

“Only if you promise not to call me punk!” Mulder 
yells back.

“Fine!” Krycek says.

“Okie-dokie.” Mulder says. He starts to pull 
Krycek out of the car.

“No! Don’t do it Agent Mulder!” Leyla yells.

She runs up to him and grabs him away from the 
car. Mulder turns around and pushes her away from 
him and into the highway.

As if on cue, a rather large semi-truck is 
speeding down the highway, hitting Leyla Harrison 
and knocking her over. Her blood splats on 
Mulder’s face. Mulder jumps back.

“Get off of me!” He yells at her blood. “I’m 
gonna die! Her blood is like acid to me!”

He starts to jump in place trying to get her 
blood off of him. Krycek has made his way out of 
the car. He starts laughing hysterically and 
pointing to the highway. Mulder is still 
spazzing.

“Mulder!” Krycek yells, trying to hold his 
laughter.

“Get off of me!” Mulder continues to yell.

Krycek goes over to him and stops him from 
spazzing.

“Look!” Krycek says, pointing onto the highway.

Mulder follows his point, and starts to join 
Krycek in his laughter.

“Whoohoo!” Mulder yells, jumping up and down for 
joy as he sees Leyla’s flattened dead body on the 
road.

Krycek starts to skip around, going around in 
circles.

“Ding dong the bitch is dead! The wicked bitch 
the annoying bitch!” Krycek happily sings to the 
tune of “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead” from
the “Wizard of Oz”.

Mulder joins him in his song and dance as we…

FADE OUT:

THE END.